Young with a Old School Heart

Sleep is over rated

2006-05-09T17:23:00.000-07:00

Sleep is over rated

It’s midnight now
Creativity is flowing
The less sleep you have
The more thoughts you have
You think the most just before sleep
But how many creations can you keep

Your eyes are getting heavy
It’s 1:00 a.m. now
Your imagination is stating to waver
But the last few conscious thoughts
Can truly inspire one to write
An essay
A speech
A song
Or even a poem

Now it’s 2:00 a.m.
You spent the hour looking for two items
A pen and paper
You can never find them when you need them
Now that you have them
You start to write

After starring at a blank paper
3:00 a.m. roles along
Your eyesight blurs
You start to write and the words just flow
From your heart to your mind
To your hand then to pen and paper
It’s a race against time
The sandman is trying to claim you
But you’ve been possessed by the words

By the time you’re done its 5:30 a.m.
You look at your masterpiece
You finally give in to the sandman’s will with joy
You drift away your eyes start closing
But just when they close…

Your alarm wakes you at 7:30 a.m.
You think that it was all a dream
But the words remain in your mind and heart
You get up in wonder
On the desk you see some paper
You take a closer look
It’s your creation
And all your work pays off.

Finished at 4:52 am

I Know a Kid

2006-05-09T17:18:00.000-07:00

This is a trade off from the other poems

Kid
I knew this black and Hispanic kid
To make it worst he was a Mexican kid
Also an Italian kid
He is an Okinawa kid
But only birth and not by blood, kid
He was a Hawaiian kid
Only by the people in Maryland kid
He was one of those kinds of kids
When messed with, he holds all the pressure in kind of kids
One more push and he’ll blow up in you face kind of kids
Looked more Hispanic kid
Couldn’t speak one word of it kid
And stands up for what he believes in kid
Loves flying in airplanes kid
Loves playing video games kid
Do anything even die for the girl he loves kid
Give anything for the girl he loves kid
Devoted to only one girl kid
Sometimes speaks when needed kid
Tries to fit in kid
Is good with the cool kids and yet not kid
Does things other people think are sad kid
Not really one of those “ NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!” kind of kid
He’s a kind to anyone kid
Could be a friend to anyone kid
Gets mad if you mess with the people he cares about kid
Like playing games kid
Will help you if you need it kid
Pays you back kid
Can be creative at times kid
Mostly in defense when talking to people if threatened kid
Hates any kind of drugs kid
Hates being cheated kid
Hates ignorant people kid
Likes Algebra kid
Can’t fully be happy kid
To block people out he blasts his Rock music kind of kid
Loves his family kind of kid
Loves watching Anime kind of kid
Has many friends and has no friends kind of kid
Likes playing soccer kind of kid
Presently a stressed out kid
It could be anyone
It could be you
It could be them
But it happens to be me
Kid. April 26, 2003

All I want is one last kiss from you

2006-05-09T17:02:00.000-07:00

All I want is one last kiss from you

All I want is one last kiss from you
So I could end what I have for you
So I could move on
And think of you as just a friend

All I want is one last kiss from you
You gave me my first kiss
And after that it left me wanting more
We used to sneak off to places just to kiss in school
Stealing kisses when we thought no one saw
Having your kiss made me feel like I was cool

All I want is one last kiss from you
You were my first love
And I have yet to find someone else that makes me feel the same
I miss the taste of your lips
But that feeling doesn’t belong to me anymore
Another man who didn’t truly care for you took it
But I’ll say this
He left you with a beautiful baby girl
And now your kiss belongs to her
She deserves all the love she needs
I mean I still wish I could have been her father
Share that moment with you or even be the stepfather
Just to be in yours and her life like that is truly all I wanted
But I still get to be there as the Godfather and I feeling so cool
But the only thing I wish I could get from you
It would be wrong to say but it’s true
All I want is one last kiss from you

I keep thinking that we would never meet again
And yet we will be soon
And I know I couldn’t ask you
So I wrote it here
Because all I ever wanted for a long time
Is just one last kiss from you.

Untitled Life

2006-05-08T16:40:00.000-07:00

Untitled Life

Life is too much for me to handle
I would take it if I could
I don't want to feel pain anymore
I'm ready to go
I would welcome the dark
Stay in an endless dream
Never waking
Never needing
Never caring
Never hurting
Just an endless dream
Always silent
Always alone and have no feelings
Always out of the way
Always free
True freedom
No one to use me
No one to bring me down
No one to hurt me
No one to make my mind up for me
True bliss
End of a constant nightmare
End of a curl joke
End of a harsh reality
End of all my pain
To sleep and never awake
The Death of all my evil
The Death of all my pain
The Death of all my torment
The Death of me

Pride

2006-05-01T18:34:00.000-07:00

Pride

I have no reason to say anything but I have something on my mind that has been bothering me for a long time. I’m a mixed bread with something to say. I am part Hispanic (Mexican), and even though I don’t look like it, I am part black, and Okinawa is my homeland, or to some Japan. I am not Hawaiian just because that was the last place I came from. I love my culture. Even though other Hispanics hate Mexicans, I hold my heritage proudly. Even though I don’t look like I am Black, I am still half Black, I was born half black, I'll die half black, and no one can take that away from me. I have little Italian and Portuguese in me but they are there and I am proud of it. I am a mutt, and as one I am no one culture. I will not shun my Mexican culture or my black culture. Some people reject their culture to try to fit in I could have done that and had fit in more but I wouldn’t be proud of myself. I don’t even know why you hate us so much. You throw out so many stereotypes about Mexicans like we curse too much or we don’t give anything or that we are lazy, I have tried to break those stereotypes but you keep labeling me. You see me walk into a store you all look at me like I’m going to do something. Honestly, I don’t have time to go to jail so don’t think of me like that. I think that people are ignorant no matter what they say, even me, just so I don’t sound like a hypocrite. Don’t judge me before you know me. To Hispanics, just see what this Mexican can do, and then you can judge me. You shouldn’t hate what you don’t know about. To everyone else, don't try to lable anyone with out finding out everything about a personand talking to them and see what they can do, Who knows you may be able to help each other.

My First Heart Break

2006-05-01T18:32:00.000-07:00

My First Heart Break

You’d think I’d learned my lesson by now
You ‘d think I would stop this fantasy I try to reach
You’d think I’d stop chasing the one dream
You’d think my heart would know what my mind does
I can’t do anything without her being in my mind
My heart belongs to her

My mind brings bad memories of the times she hurt me
My heart becomes happy when I see her online
When I call her on the phone
Or by some strange twist of fate, see her face

My heart forgives but my mind never forgets
But she is my heart and soul
She knows me better than anyone else ever will.
I’d give everything up just to be with her
I have asked her out twice and she has left me twice
I would ask her to come back to me over and over again
No one can take her place
She makes me feel happy
If she is hurt, I am hurt
If I could, I would harm anyone who would hurt her
When she is happy my world is perfect no matter what happens to me
With her I act like my normal self
Not like how I have been as of late
Without her, I get depressed and forget about my safety
Death didn’t matter to me

I normally don’t hate anyone
But I hate the people who have harmed her
I wish I could kill them if there weren’t others who would be after me
Plus I don’t think she would look at me the same way if I did
They don’t know what they are missing by doing so
She is the most beautiful girl I have ever known
I love her for her personality as well as her looks
She caring in her own way
She is not scared to speak her mind
And I love that about her
She is the only person truly able to make me laugh and smile

I miss being with her
I miss holding her in my arms
I miss kissing her lips
To be able to be near her
To hold her
To kiss her
That would make me happier than anything else
I would give almost anything just for that
I wish I could be all that she wants
If changing who I am is what she wants then so be it
Anyone who would give her up is a fool
There will never be anyone like her ever again
No matter what anyone says about her it wouldn’t matter
She is my world
And nothing would make me turn from that
She is my first and only love in my life
When I did have her as a girlfriend it was like a dream
And I never wished to wake from it
I would have never thought I would have a girlfriend
I still remember the first time I had asked her out
Is and always will be the most beautiful girl I have ever seen
No one, in my eyes, comes close to her
I know its been used by others
But she is my sun and my moon
She is my everything
And like she has told me before
And I now say about her
I loved her then
I love her now
And I will always love her
She will never leave my thoughts or my heart

Used To Being Used

2006-05-01T18:31:00.000-07:00

Used To Being Used

Have you ever been used?
Used by friends
Used by brothers or sisters
Used by someone you used to love
Been used to being used
Has it become a second nature to you?
So used to it that it doesn't matter anymore
Starts breaking you down tell you hurt
Makes you want to scream, right?
Having someone gain from you while
You try to move forward but your being
Held to what they expect from you to
Doing anything to keep your friends who are really
Enemies in masks pretending to be there for
You think everything is going to be cool but
Dangerous people will play off your
Hate building up in you, waiting to
Exploding when things get too much to
Handling anger this way is not good
It drives you to want to go off on
Someone it is not intended for my get
Catching you in that kind of
Pressure could be too much and may cause
Pain of the betrayal of the ones who you care
For your actions cause and equal or
Greater reactions from those around you
Being forced into blind anger breaking your
Mask that you will make is one of
Sadness covered by what you let them see
Happy, kindness all the colors covering over the
Details of your depressed way you live now
They will not believe you are that way so you
Keeping the false images they are used to
Everyday seems harder and harder to keep your
Mask chips away slowly but they will never
Knowing what is going on is not going to be known not
Even you will not know when it will break in two
Do you think you know now?
Has it sunk in?
Being used may end unhappily
If you think you understand
Then you will know how I feel
And I am tired

Nothing

2006-05-01T18:19:00.000-07:00

Nothing

If I am to die then let me now
No one will really miss me
I have nothing to really live for
I am tired of this
Being told you can’t do something
When you just started
Always been hard for me
I can’t read well
Reading and writing go hand and hand
If you can’t do one then you can’t do the other
Good thing I am good at speaking right
I have loyalty to everyone around me
But not myself anymore

To my parents
I have never been held back
This is the first and last time
Then you are angry as to why I don’t care for my schooling
It was cool at first but then it set in that I am below average
I have wanted to make you happy
But still I do something wrong
Nick has fuck up his life by dropping out of College
You treat him like nothing is wrong
You make it like he is the good son
I have never been drunk and carried home by friends before
I have never been mugged
I have been pushed, got in to fights, and have been jumped
But I get less care from you then he has
I have helped myself after things like that
I have learned to be stronger

To my friends
Not a lot of you cared much when good thing happened to me
You here and away
I am always happy when good things happen for you
But I don’t fully expect it from you
There are things I want to say but can’t
If I could I would put myself in danger for any of you

To The Girl I Loved
Part of that is about you
You know more about me then others I know
That makes it hard to forget you and your face
I loved you to the bottom of my heart
I was willing and wanting to ask you to marry me
I should have known that it was coming to an end
When you ended the engagement
I wanted to hold on to the fact that I hand a girlfriend
But it was over before I knew it
I still feel that I shouldn’t have done that internship last summer
You were not happy for me when I got it
No one hurt me more then you did
No one can
But I stayed your friend
Tried to be there when ever you let me
You still, even though you say you do, not let me get close to you
I am not apart of you life anymore
There is almost no link to use anymore
I still am happy when I see you come online
And when you call me I get set back in my mind to old times
Hearing you voice doesn’t help me move ahead
When others call you names it hurts me too
I still don’t want you to cry

Baka

2006-04-30T19:00:00.000-07:00

I am a complete BAKA. But that's how it goes
Later everyone

I'm going to ask

2006-04-29T21:14:00.000-07:00

No matter what happens, the next time I see her I 'm going to ask her out. I can't stop thinking about her. She looked beautiful on Friday but she does everyday. I couldn't stop looking at her at the event. I should have asked her to dance when the slow song came on but I didn't think she would with me. Now that I say all this she probably around or I going to choke and not ask her. Well we see what happens.

2006-04-29T02:01:00.000-07:00

My Grandma and My Sister

Grandma

I wish I knew you more

I can only remember seeing you twice

I hated the second

I wish I knew you more

I have only heard stories

You sounded like a beautiful person

I want you to be here for me

I know from the stories that you were strong

I wish I knew you more

I wish I could give up my life

Just so you could live

And be here for your children

I only have the pictures on the wall of you

If I am bless with a girl when I am older

I want your name to be a part of her

I wish I knew you more

So I could know what they knew

They tell me such beautiful stories

My older sister

I wish I could have known you

I have never seen you

But mom and dad still and always will miss you

Not born but maybe a minute

I wish I could have known you

It would have been cool to have a sister

I know mom would have been happy

She always wanted a girl

The doctors said she wouldn’t have another after you

I wish it was you not me that was born

You and mom would have had things in common

I wish I could have known you

So I could tell you things

I pray that you’re my guardian angel

If in the future I am blessed with a girl

I want her to have your name

So she can have a part of you

I wish I knew you more

I could have someone to talk to

We could have ganged up on our brother

But your not here

I know that the both of you are watching me

I know that I can always talk to you

I want to name my child Alicia Bessie Lucio

I know she will be as beautiful as the both of you

She will be a part you

I wish that she could know you

FRIENDSHIP SUCKS SOMETIMES

2006-04-29T00:45:00.000-07:00

Why can't I be some other guys were I don't follow old codes and unwritten laws over friends and the ones they want to be with. If chivalry is dead then I have faded with it seeming never to return. The easy way to hinder me from talking to a girl is to become my friend but she said no. I messed up and got to know a girl that one of my good friends wanted and I fell for her. She was what I wanted in a girl; she was smart, beautiful, we have some of the same interests and recently we were hanging out with some friends and I wanted to make sure that she was happy and smiling because I don't like to see girls unhappy; I had to leave early because one of my friends was moving soon and wanted to tell her the entire time that I thought she looked beautiful that I wanted to ask her out but I couldn't till before I left. I told her because I couldn't hold it in any longer but I also told her that I couldn't ask her because of my friend. I don't blame my friend... I blame myself and the old codes that some people don't follow anymore. If I could I would ask her out but I'm not sure if she has someone or if she would even go out with me.

All I want to do

2006-04-27T02:04:00.000-07:00

most of my poems are not happy ones but why not start this way.

All I want to do

All I want to do is write a poem

So I can put my soul in it

Make the rhythm in my heart

Come out and flow freely

And have the world hear it

And have the people feel it

And have a child read it

All I want to do is write a poem

All I want to do is write a song

So I can put my Heart in it

Make the lyrics that I have

Playing in my heart be put on paper

And have the world hear it

And have the people dance to it

And have a child sing it

All I want to do is write a song

All I want to do is write a love letter

One that lets the girl I love know how I feel

And how deep my love is for her

And shout her name

So the world can hear it

And have the people know her name

And have a child love her as much as I do

All I want to do is write a love letter

All I want to do is end my poem

So I can know what you think

And hope I get to hear yours

And hope the world hears it

And the people can love it

And a child knows you name

All I want to do is end my poem

My intro ( its not much i know

2006-04-27T01:27:00.000-07:00

I just wanted a place for me to post some of my poems and thoughts. This is my first time doing this. Well that's it then.